Saturday, November 14, 2009

Sending flowers for a miscarriage?

A good friend just had one at the end of her 1st trimester. I know later today she'll be home resting, do you think its better to stop off in person and try to deliver them, or have the store do it?

Sending flowers for a miscarriage?
I think it would be nice for you to stop in person, and visit, she would probable like to have you comfort her like only a good friend can.
Reply:I'm currently preganant and my biggest fear is a miscarraiage. I'm four and a half months along, and thus far, everything is going good. I think if it were to happen to me, I would prefer somebody stopping by (and phoning first) and not necesarily bring flowers, but maybe a potted plant, so that life, even in a small form, continues. (Also, I don't like cut flowers because they're expensive and they only last a week and a half to two weeks, even with good care.)

I hope this helps.
Reply:I would stop by yourself...andmake it small...too big and it will remind her of her loss..make it a small bouquet.
Reply:Although I know you want to take flowers as a symbol of sympathy, I don't think that I would. Every time she'd see the flowers throughout the day, it'd remind her that she just lost her baby. Instead, why don't you just offer yourself? To simply be there, should be enough. Why don't you make a few cookies and go to her home and just offer to listen to her for a while or just to talk of other things?
Reply:Either way will let her know that you are thinking of her and she will appreciate this.
Reply:I'd send them and have the card read that your thinking of her.
Reply:I would say it was better to drop them off yourself if you are a close friend.
Reply:Give your friend a call, and ask when she might feel up to a visit. If it is soon, stop off and get a bouquet in a container and take it yourself.. If it is going to be awhile, send the flowers, and write something nice on the card.
Reply:Stop by briefly with the flowers; and just let her know you are there for her.
Reply:I think you might want to call first and ask if it's ok if you stop by for a minute. That way you won't catch her off guard and if she's not up to company then you'll know it. What a thoughtful friend you are, it's so hard when you miscarry and even worse (at least for me) when people don't acknowledge it as a true loss, because it is one of the most devastating things to go through.
Reply:I have had three miscarriages, 1 in the first trimester and 2 in the second trimester. The best thing after I got home from the hospital was knowing people cared. I think having them delivered would be the best thing. You really don't feel like visiting after because you are so sad, but flowers just show that you care and you are feeling her pain. In the card tell her you love her and when she is feeling up to it you two can go for a lunch together and just talk. She is lucky to have a friend like you!
Reply:I went trough that ordeal myself five times, and every time I did not wanted to see anybody, but still wanted to know they were there for me. (Strange, huh?) I say you send her the flowers now and call her a few days later. Please, dont tell her “Its going to be ok“, or “Youll see, you will have your child eventually“. Just be there, ask her if you can help her in any way, and bring her some gossip from work, or some jokes, or something to take her mind off her miscarriage.
Reply:I would call her and ask if she is up to company or not. If she isnt, then have the flowers sent. If she is then bring them over yourself. I know one thing that was very helpful to me, was when someone brought over a meal for my family every day the first week after I miscarried. I personally would rather have flowers as a gift then a plant.
Reply:You should go and visit and maybe take a plant and a personal card
Reply:If she's a good friend she might need your support now. Go ahead and bring them by yourself and give her a hug and be there for her if she needs you. If not, just let her know you were thinking of her and she can call you when she is ready. Best Wishes! :)
Reply:I had several miscarriages myself, and trust me, we don't want to see people. I didn't even want to pick up the phone for a few weeks. It's very nice of you to think of her but please give your friend time to grieve. Let the flowers be sent by the store, she will appreciate that and will talk to you when she's ready.

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