Saturday, November 14, 2009

Is it appropriate to send flowers for a memorial service?

A close friend's father passed away a week ago, and there will be a memorial service planned sometime next week. Is it appropriate to send flowers, or is is more appropriate to make a charitable donation? I'm not sure what to do, and would appreciate whatever is suggested.

Is it appropriate to send flowers for a memorial service?
Flowers are very appropriate. You can have them sent to the home, if someone lived with you friend's father, or to the location of the service. Look at a teleflora ftd website under "sympathy" to see what you might be interested in sending. A local florist will give you more personal attention though.
Reply:I think you should do both, because if you ask your friend I think he would say a charitable donation, but if you (apart from the donation) send him some flowers, it would be very nice.

P.S: white roses would be just perfect
Reply:Yes it is appropriate to send flowers unless the obituary notice says something like "In lieu of flowers donations may be made to ........" Most obituaries can be found online nowadays if you haven't seen it. If the father had a certain illness or received services from a hospice, or was an active member of a particular church or charity organization, then families usually appreciate memorial gifts to those places. when you make a donation to a reputable organization the family is notified of this, though generally not the dollar amount.
Reply:Check the obit in the paper, if they placed one. It will usually say where to send any donations if they chose to do so. I'm not sure if the charity sends them a notice that you made a donation, but just in case send them a nice card and let them know that you made a donation in his name.
Reply:yes either one is good,,what ever you wanna do,,
Reply:For us Europeans, this combination of grief and consumerism would feel awkward.

Even a donation to a charity would seem out of place in this instance. We would attend the memorial service, and

we would also write a heartfelt letter; then, after a suitable period, we'd pay a visit to the family, if really close - and keep in touch by phone even more frequently than before.
Reply:I think flowers sent to your friend's home is a nice gesture. You can also make a charitable donation in your friend's father's name. Attending the memorial service and being with your friend is the best gift of all.
Reply:Either is appropriate. Sometimes, the family will have a preference such as a favorite charity of the father.
Reply:you don't need to send flowers. send the family a beautiful tree so they can plant in in their yard and watch it grow and mature through out the years.
Reply:Will the memorial service be at the funeral home? If so, then it would be appropriate to send flowers for the service.

If you are not sure, you can certainly send a charitable donation in the name of your friend's father. I also suggest you send a separate card to your friend with an appropriate message (I am so sorry for your loss, etc.)

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