Monday, May 11, 2009

Is it appropriate to send flowers in this situation?

Is it appropriate to send flowers to a coworker if she recommended you for your job and you are quitting only after a month? I worked with her somewhere else and when I found out the place she's working at was hiring, I applied and she spoke highly of me to the Boss and to the people at HR which resulted in me getting the job. But I've accepted a better job offer elsewhere and I feel bad that I'm leaving after a short time,but I'm very appreciative that she got me the job.

So do you think flowers are ok? If so, what kind of flowers?

Is it appropriate to send flowers in this situation?
Flowers are nice, but it's almost like "dressing" the problem rather than directly addressing it.

What is truly at stake here is your friend's reputation with her co-workers. Whenever someone sticks out his/her neck for a new employee, they are taking a big risk in front of other co-workers, HR and the boss. Certainly the firm would not have hired you unless you brought certain skills and experience to the position. However, your friend's high recommendation gave you that edge over the next best candidate. And given the circumstances now, she probably won't (or can't) recommend another friend again. So, you should tackle the problem head-on and face-to-face. Not with flowers--yet.

I suggest that you have a frank discussion with your friend. Express your appreciation for what she did on your behalf. You shouldn't feel guilty for making a career move that's best for you. However, you should acknowledge and empathize with the awkward position you have left her.

Also, to make sure there are no residual feelings, try to smooth out things with the HR and her boss. And do it with your friend in mind. Remember that your friend has got to maintain a cordial relationship with her co-workers long after you're gone. Think about it like this: If a friend of yours had put you in the same awkward situation, then what would you want that friend to say to your HR and boss?

You obviously already know how to make a classy entrance, b/c you got a new job-- twice!! But really the more challenging thing to do here is to make as classy an exit. Just do it with grace, sincerity and integrity.

Talk to everyone individually. Then, let the dust settle and in a few weeks send a notecard and flowers to your friend, the HR and her boss. That way, you'll exit with style, too.

Good luck on the new job!!
Reply:I would certainly do something as you quitting so soon will be a definite blow to her credibility. An assortment of cut flowers in seasonal colors would be appropriate with a short note.

Also, make sure you have spoken and explained the situation to your current boss as well as HR. Perhaps that will help her reputation a bit.
Reply:Of course thank you flowers are appropriate. I like lilies because they last a long time.
Reply:yes, thats a nice way to show ur appreciation. as far as the flowers, get something bright and fun. also im sure she's happy that you've found a great job.

good luck =)
Reply:That would be nice. If you know her favorite color, try to get her an arrangement in that. Carnations are always good.
Reply:Saying "please" and "thank you" are not empty gestures. When you say, "thank you," you are showing appreciation and displaying confidence and maturity.

If a co-worker or business associate referred you for a position, thank them for their assistance. A short note will let them know how much you appreciate their endorsement. And they are more likely to refer to you again.
Reply:I think that is very nice of you.

So many people only think of themselves.

It would be a very nice gesture based on what she did for you.

A spring bouquet.........or even some type of houseplant.
Reply:ABSOLUTELY SEND THE FLOWERS OR EVEN A MUFFIN BASKET!!!! Remember, your co-workerr did you a great favor and even though you decided not to take the position, you do need to thank her for her thoughtfulness. Also remember, sometimes positions and decisions don't work out. You may want to accept this position at a later date and to not acknowlege her would create an "awkward" situation. Always be kind and return favors, you may need to use this coworker as a reference in the future or even exchange information from this position. Anyone who would reccommend you so highly should be considered friend and those are hard to come by. HOPE THIS HELPS!!

Reply:You are sooo sweet, sure, it is very appropriate. You should get the kind you like. (Me, I love roses).
Reply:If you are sending them to her home then yes. If you are sending something to the office it might be better to send a card and some smaller gift that others in the office won't see. Even if you are leaving on good terms someone else in the office might see the kind gesture in poor taste and the working world is a small place. Other things, maybe a starbucks card w/ the note, a small box of stationary is always a kind gesture, flowers are sweet just not a large arrangement if you go that route.

Reply:Flowers are okay, but so is a handwritten notecard.

Either way, the thought and consideration of her feelings are very nice of you. I'm sure she'll appreciate anything you send in earnest.


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